


Withering Soul

by Anonymous



Series: Snapdragon & Firefly Anonymous [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: 2b2t, BAMF TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Before Realizing What He's Done, Dream Smp, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Beta We Simply Live With The Pain, Phoenix TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Wilbur Soot, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Sleepy Bois As Family, Techno Accidentally Triggers It, Tommy Was Born In 2b2t, TommyInnit Has PTSD (Video Blogging RPF), Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade are Siblings, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Winged TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), then we get
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28548396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Everything eventually, with enough time and hatred, will shatter and break away. Eroding with the sands of time and the ever crashing waves of human cruelty. This was true of structures, relationships, and the mental state of other people. Yet, there's time and room to repair the damage done if someone is willing to.
Relationships: Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Time Deo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: Snapdragon & Firefly Anonymous [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113446
Comments: 99
Kudos: 1193
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2b2t Tommy go brrrrrr. 
> 
> Remember that this fic is about the characters played by the content creators and not the ccs themselves. All tagged relationships are entirely platonic. 
> 
> ~Snapdragon and Firefly

_"If you want to be a hero, then Die Like One!"_

The words cracked like thunder as the sound of withers being summoned plagued L'manburg. Tommy had registered it somewhere in the back of his mind, but the moment he saw wither skulls and soul sand in the general area of one another his body always went too far into fight or flight for his mind to bother with keeping up. Rational thought wasn't something that really persisted when the single loudest thought that managed to crack through the swirls of wordless chaos on the inside of his skull was simply "Survive." 

After all, he knew what withers meant. Withers were something that veterans liked to spawn around at random to fuck with the newbies. Withers were the reason Tommy had realized he was a phoenix hybrid in the first places. With feathers that were valuable to pluck from his prone form. Able to stave off the touch of death without the dangers people usually associated with the eldritch abominations and dark magics that were totems of undying. A wither had been the first thing that ever killed Tommy when he was too young to understand most people died after getting hit by one with absolutely no armor on, the poison slowly leeching away at body and soul until it crumbled.

Even after that. Even after realizing he was valuable for his plumage which wouldn't let him die no matter how much pain he had to endure. Even then they laughed and jeered and told him to fight the withers with his bare fucking hands as his feathers fell from his wings and grew colorless one by one, their powers expended to keep him alive.

Tommy shuddered.

His wings, luckily, weren't half plucked messes of fluff and blood. Nor were they the dull whites and silvers that came with a long fought battle and multiple deaths, just one strong gust away from turning to ashes till new feathers grew in. Tommy's wings were still their typical outstanding scarlet mixed with yellows and oranges like a rising sun. They were also safely hidden from sight by his magic. It was a habit he'd picked up from the older hybrids on his home sever. Never ever in a million years let your traits show except among your own kind. Even then. Trust is something you never give. Always have insurance. If you're a mythical hybrid, like Tommy had been, keep your back to the damn wall and your fangs as sharp as possible because you aren't human. The moment you wake up and you suddenly have two or more fox tails, or dragon wings, or feathers that can bring back the dead you aren't human anymore.

The Dream SMP wasn't 2b2t. Thank god. But when the words anarchy fell from his own brother's lips and he spawned those fucking withers Tommy had felt his poor little heart seize up in his throat and he started backing away in the middle of Techno's speech. His oldest brother hadn't noticed. Even when they were down in Pogtopia, Tommy had tried to get his brother to understand how uncomfortable even the implication of an anarchy server made him feel. The word alone still set chills up his spine and made him think of fingers slowly plucking his primaries one by one because the larger and better kept the feather the more magic it contained. A phoenix hybrid naturally had massive wings. Tommy's own wings were even larger than average so his primaries could easily buy him his own server if he wanted. One of his primaries, just a single long and elegant scarlet feather, would be enough to make a lot of servers start throwing diamonds at him. 

A server known for slavery and anarchy and hybrid trafficking had of course taken one look at Tommy after his wings came tearing from his back and decided he was valuable. Tommy had tried to explain to his brothers once what the word anarchy meant to him. Of course, he tried to do it without saying in any direct terms that he'd been born in 2b2t and it was made all the worse by being a phoenix. Techno brushed him off with the same high and mighty attitude as always. Maybe he expected Tommy to push the issue but Tommy hadn't. 

If there was one thing that server damn well taught him how to do, it was to survive. Tommy could handle L'manburg being blown to smithereens and he could handle his brothers turning on him. That wasn't anything new. Even if they'd been his beloved brothers since Tommy was ten years old, he could handle this. Because he'd been born and raised on a server where no relationship ever lasted and those that managed to persevere always had their hiccups and their bang ups. Even he and Time Deo, the one person who understood what he'd been through best having been with Tommy since he was three, had his fair share of moments where the two clawed at the bonds they'd build up like they were chains and they didn't know how to stand the feeling. 

Children usually died before becoming old enough to leave 2b2t. Hybrid deaths were even more common. Permanent deaths, mind you. Sub humans as they were called on most anarchy servers were valuable but their value turn them into perishables and things that people often wanted to destroy. The fact Deo and Tommy lived was due to each other, having found one another at their lowest and weakest and offered what thin strands of trust they could to one another before they learned just how dangerous a thing trust could be. Even then, knowing one would always stand at the back of the other when teeth and claws hit throats, they were still two broken children trying to understand how relationships works and they lashed out and they snapped and drew blood and eventually they forgave each other because that's just how relationships were on that hell hole of a server. It breaks. It erodes. You build a new one. Just like Tommy's cobblestone tower. Their relationship with Ranboo when he joined their little trio had been softer. Ranboo wasn't born in 2b2t and unlike Deo he hadn't been taken early enough into his lifetime to be unable to remember a different word. Even then. Sometimes there were cracks and breaks because that's what Tommy had been taught to do and it was a habit that was hard to unlearn. Even when those cobble towers started to crumble though, he valued loyalty above all things and rebuild their bases as best he could. That went for relationships especially. 

Just, did it have to be fucking withers? Of all the things Techno could have done, of all the things that Tommy would have been pissed off about for a week or two before forgiving him and moving on to Tommy's next war because that's the only thing he'd ever known, it had to be fucking withers didn't it?

The one thing Tommy couldn't handle Techno just had to pull out of his bag of tricks like he knew.

When Wilbur blew up L'manburg he stood there and begged Phil to kill him while Techno set up his stupid withers and there was a sick sense of satisfaction when Tommy watched the crimson feather he'd tied into Wilbur's hair turn stark white before falling out and turning to ashes. If Tommy didn't get to go yet, they didn't get to either. Techno didn't need the feather that had been twisted into his braid during a quiet moment before the betrayal Tommy knew to be inevitable, but he'd done it anyway. He'd filled Wilbur's pockets with feathers. Twisted them to the ends of cords and hidden them under Wilbur's clothes. Techno needed none but Tommy had still tried to weave as many into his outfit as possible. 

Because it wasn't fair if either of them got to run away. 

Phil didn't have any feather but who in their right mind would do anything to Phil in those moments. Phil who also had all three lives and if worst came to worst Tommy wasn't afraid to flare his wings visibly for the first time on the server and yank out his primaries with abandon. 

His family was safe. Tommy hated them. He fucking despised them and he loved them with every miserable scrap of a heart he had left because what else was he supposed to do? What else could he damn well do when the piglin hybrid twins who'd found him in a snowstorm lost and dying after just escape 2b2t and dragged him home were slowly becoming exactly what he had hated most about that server.

Tommy above all things in his life prided Loyalty. 

Maybe that was why. 

It hurt to slowly realize that he, the third child, always the least favored, was alone as he backed away from Techno and his withers and felt his body plummeting into the deep ravines left in the earth by Wilbur's explosives. He could hear a number of different people shouting his name and he wondered if any of them were Wilbur or Phil. No, probably not, they were bound to be more concerned with one another after Wilbur's little moment. Tommy loved them so much that it hurt, so much the pain was the only thing cutting through the sheer white hot terror running through his veins as the wither howled angrily. 

It was kinda funny. As he was falling backwards, he had no intentions of catching himself. Didn't matter. If the damage was minimal enough then a single feather would disintegrate and he'd be left at low health. Or full health depending on how big a feather he wanted to waste. Minimal was a fast and loose term. Really, the only times this rule didn't apply were when Tommy did things like loose a limb or get blown up. Even then, the strength of the magic depended on the size, importance, and over all care of the feather. A 'perfect primary' could apparently bring back the dead from anything except for old age, even if they'd long since decomposed. There were those 'canon lives' he'd lost earlier but that was mostly because he'd elected not to waste the feather. If he just took the respawn then he didn't lose the feather, and depending on how bad the injury was it was annoying to lose a primary. Multiple in a row and he'd be ground locked which was awful, even if he could just pop into the nether for a few days and his feathers would start to regrow and molt like crazy. The nether was a good 'reset' of sorts. 

That wasn't what was funny though. Tommy probably looked like he was completely giving up. A bitter but resigned half smile on his face as he fell backwards. The last thing Tommy saw was Technoblade. He almost expected Techno to be laughing in his victory. He knew that a lot of the old timers back 'home' certainly would have been laughing at the foolish child for thinking he could have kept something for longer than a week. Mocking him as he gave up and groveled for pity. It was funny because Techno... Techno wasn't laughing. Tommy couldn't recognize the expression that Techno was wearing as the terror in his own veins finally gave way to something close to mania as a wither nailed him and the poison kicked in. He hated it.

He hated it hated it hated it hatedithatedithatedithatedit. 

He had no doubt the almost blissfully resigned expression in those moment had turned into one of twisted agony. Tommy would rather die literally any other way than wither effect, and Tommy had died a lot of different ways. Once they brought him to the end to try and kill the fucked up chimeric monstrosity that was the 2b2t Ender Dragon and that wasn't fun. He'd do it a million times over and waste a thousand feathers trying to get to the bottom of the void if it meant he never had to deal with wither effect again. 

It was okay though because he was expecting this. So why wasn't Techno laughing? For the first time in a long time Tommy couldn't read Techno's expression. The twist of his lips and the tightened set of his jaw combined with the slight widening of his eyes. It was new. It wasn't anger or glee, Tommy couldn't understand.

Maybe he couldn't understand because Tommy had just never seen genuine fear on the older boy's face in the six years he'd been living with Techno. 

Regret wasn't an emotion those on 2b2t learned. Ever, if they didn't plan on leaving. Even if they did leave, it wasn't something they learned until years after when they pushed too far and Tommy had never pushed far enough to actually understand the emotion. There were lines even he wouldn't cross and as such kept the emotion firmly locked out of his understanding. Physically and mentally unable to process it in a mind so damaged by trauma it only recognized emotion prevalent to immediate survival until he'd finally started to slow down and breath and understand what it meant to have people that cared about you. 

So he couldn't for the life of him understand the fact that it was fear and regret that started to plague Technoblade's expression during Tommy's freefall. 

If it was anyone else. Anyone beside Tommy. Well. It would have been their last canon life. 

It would be easy, he realized, body still in free fall, to just fake his death. He'd done it before if he was being honest. Allowed himself to die after breaking his respawn point only to appear far, far away from the danger. To disappear like a phantom from threats. He'd thought about it before when he was younger and still didn't understand what family meant. When the word love had terrified him to his fucking core. Phil called him a flight risk with a hearty smile never quite understanding how accurate it was. Tommy had contemplated it once before, faking his death and abandoning this little group he called his family.

The bile in the back of his throat made it so when his body smacked the ground a couple feathers turned white instead. He whimpered, still victim to the sensation of pain even if the injuries vanished. In the bottom of the crater made by Wilbur, Tommy curled in on himself and listened to the sounds of the people he loved kill each other. 

He thought about 2b2t. About Deo and Ranboo. About how sometimes it felt like he'd never even left. 


	2. Chapter 2

Techno had been born in the nether alongside his twin brother and he'd always wanted nothing more than to leave it. The circumstances of their birth had led to a harsh upbringing and a harsher temper for the elder of the two twins. He'd done his best to always shield Wilbur from the brunt of it, but apparently his best hadn't been good enough if how own twin brother had tried to get their father to kill him after blowing the country he'd founded sky high. As though Techno hadn't already been planning that. Maybe they'd both been a little messed up beyond repair by the cruel hands and crueler tongues that raised them till Phil found them. 

He'd let out a very silent prayer of thanks to their youngest brother, Tommy, for his beloved twin's life when all that came from a stab to the gut was a burst of red and some faded white ashes dusted over Wilbur's shoulder where a crimson feather had once been.

He had no idea how, but Tommy had amazing luck when it came to finding phoenix feathers and he gave them out to the people he liked as though they weren't valuable artifacts. Like instead they were simple hard candies he could purchase in bulk from the store for a couple cents. Out of the entire server Techno was one of the one who knew the most about the phoenix, the legendary immortal birds much like the piglins having come from the Nether. Undying creatures of flame with too sharp teeth and talons to be average birds, with wing spans that could blot out sun, where else would they come from? The biggest difference between piglins and the phoenix was that the later could freely traverse the planes where as even a hybrid like himself found it difficult and sometimes painful to exist outside the Nether. 

It was even said in whispers that the phoenix didn't need portals to jump around freely. With a simple whim and a beat of their wings they could jump from the nether to the overworld and back again. 

Where Tommy found such high quality feathers Techno had no idea and would probably never know. Phoenix were renown for molting the fastest out of any known bird species. At least four times a year outside of the Nether and perhaps even faster when they were exposed to the Nether. Each feather shedding quickly for the safety of the phoenix, not only to get rid of damaged feathers but as an extra storage of excess magic they could access in emergencies. Most phoenix guarded their feathers with a borderline religious zeal, yet Tommy appeared with them in droves seemingly out of nowhere. 

Most could only ever find damaged feathers that the owner had deemed "useless", and it was impossible to find the feathers of a dead phoenix. A permanently dead phoenix turned immediately to ash, and ever feather they'd ever shed with them. Making a living phoenix oh so much more valuable then a dead one to poachers. Like poachers could ever find a phoenix young enough that it wasn't a danger. 

Techno rather belatedly realized that the only person he'd never seen Tommy give out a feather to was probably himself. Techno realized that moments too late as Tommy's form, entirely devoid of crimson feathers, went into free fall. A small shock jolted through him as his youngest kid brother toppled over the edge of the newly formed ravine with an expression Techno had never seen on his face before. 

If Techno was being honest with himself, which due to his shock for once he was forced to, he'd say that he hated the expression on Tommy's face. It was just too resigned for someone like Tommy who seemed to cradle the sun in his palms with a cheeky grin and a snarky comment. His Tommy was a firecracker born to explode relentlessly in a cacophony of noise and flamboyant colors. Something that never relented, an unstoppable force that had proven time and time against to Techno fairly early on that he wasn't the unmovable object he'd originally thought himself to be. 

In a heart he thought only had room for Wilbur and Phil, Tommy had crawled his way inside and carver out a spot that was large and vulnerable and Techno had neither the desire nor the strength to hollow it out and fill it back up with concrete. 

Perhaps that's why he hated watching what he'd caused. Tommy's face went from resignation to a twisted snarl of pain as one of the withers managed to get him. It was the most miserable and pathetic look Techno had ever seen on Tommy in all the time they'd shared a life together and he hated it more than anything else in the world. That look wasn't supposed to be on Tommy's face, anyone but him, not his Tommy.

Then without anymore fanfare, his body disappeared over the side of the newly born ravine and Techno's entire world for the first time in his life went quiet and dark. Even the squalling trills of chat went completely silent for the first time he could ever remember as Techno watched _his sun_ set. Techno had never known darkness. In the overworld it was something much too dangerous to indulge and even the Nether or the End had their unique glows. This though, Techno thought maybe this is what true darkness felt like as a slow creeping sickness started leeching into his stomach.

Then the voices started to grieve. 

Techno had never been sure if the voices of Chat were a part of him or if it was some entirely unknown and foreign entity that had decided to haunt him, but over time the voice opinions and Techno's own had begun to fall into an agreement. Similarities in thoughts that made them a bit easier to deal with and made the moments were they mocked him a bit less agonizing. They became a regular part of him. Sure, they were a bit more blood thirsty than Techno himself was sometimes, but he blamed that on growing up in a place where you kill and protect for your sounder. The voices were enough like Techno in his thought process that he could occasionally trust them to make decisions or elucidate his emotions when they felt too foreign and divorced for him to fully understand himself. 

He didn't need the sudden wails and mournful cries in the back of his head. They weren't necessary to tell him that it was terror and grief that suddenly started to rush through his veins like a bad drug. He swallowed hard, body almost going into autopilot as he avoided his own Withers. 

Tommy gave Wilbur the feather. Tommy had saved Wilbur, Techno's brother. But, maybe, Techno realized with a sickening feeling trapped in his gut, there was no way around losing a brother today. His baby brother. Did he just kill his baby brother, the one who held his fingers and cried Techie in distress the day they'd brought him home? The same one who'd curl into his bed and cling to him when the nightmares got too bad. Was this Techno's fault? 

Instead of Phil having the honor of killing one of his sons, had it been Techno who'd been giving the honor of killing the baby brother he sword on his life to protect? 

Techno had never been one for extreme emotions so it was perhaps a bit unsurprising when the sudden onslaught brought bile into the back of his throat as he started to help kill his own Withers in a daze. The plan had originally been to run around killing anyone who wasn't on one life, very carefully avoiding Tommy and Tubbo who'd already been through enough and didn't need to lose their final life over Techno's point. 

A couple people still died to the Withers, but fewer than if Techno had gone savage and no one that was actually on their last life. 

Quackity looked like he wanted to storm up to Techno and say something, but Fundy was the one to put a hand on his shoulder. Fundy was the first person to actually try approaching Techno after the Withers were dead, a slight look of concern on his face as the piglin hybrid moved through his daze. Fucked up or not, this wasn't the worst thing any of them had done, and family was still family. It would take time to forgive and heal, but the look on Fundy's face proved the grudges weren't going to follow him to his own grave. 

"Techno are you... Are you crying?" It seemed as though Fundy wanted to ask something more akin to 'are you okay?' but when Techno lifted his head to meet the fox hybrid eye to eye Fundy had stalled out in shock. What was Fundy talking about though, it was just raining. 

"I'm not the one you should be asking," he muttered quietly. His voice sounded a bit more ragged to himself than it was supposed to. 

For all Techno knew, his little brother was dead. The little brother he'd brought home with Wilbur on the night of a snow storm when they still lived in the Antarctic. The little ten year old boy he'd curled around and swore he'd protect with his life while the younger had dozed in Phil's bed, sandwiched between himself and Wilbur. That baby brother had died at Techno's own hands. Of course, even the sky would share it's condolences, right? When the sun went down but there was no moon to be found, wouldn't even the sky begin to bawl with grief and agony for the loss of a most beloved brother and son?

Phil very carefully picked his way over to Techno, trying to avoid as much destruction as he could while he dragged along a Wilbur who was noticeably dazed but also had eyes that were clearer than they'd been in weeks. Techno didn't know if it was the system shock from getting stabbed or the feather. Either way, the entire server if not the world seemed to freeze around them as the two very carefully made their way over. 

"There wasn't a death message," Phil said, desperately trying to console both his oldest as well as himself. Sure, there wasn't a death message. Yet. But how long until there was one? Who knew what would happen in the mean time? What kind of damage psychologically would this even do? Fuck. Even if Tommy _lived_ , for all intents and purposes _Techno's version_ of Tommy (the one that loved and trusted him to the point of turning to him for help, god he'd been an idiot to think he was being used by someone like Tommy of all fucking people), was dead. The worst part is that the blood either way would be on Techno's hands. The one promise he'd made to Tommy he'd royally failed to keep. 

Perhaps he deserved this, even if Tommy and everyone else who loved him hadn't. 

Techno's baby brother was dead. He did it. Tommy's blood was burning on his hands and it was entirely Techno's fault because he wanted to make some kind of point. He made a point alright, but it said more about him than it did about government and anarchy. 

Techno tucked his head into Phil's shoulder and allowed it to rain. 

* * *

There's only silence born from the muted ringing of his own ears. A silence with slowly evolves into the first thing he hears. It's his own voice, mocking him. His conscious which had previously been shoved into a corner in the back of his mind is berating him and mocking him for his own stupidity and it takes a moment for him to actually catch up and figure out why. 

Before he actually processes sight he starts processing feeling. He feels ashes falling across his shoulder as a crimson feather bursts with crimson before fading white and turning to dust in a matter of moments. Before the feather the only thing he could feel was icy claws and resounding pain as his mind started to shut down from blood loss. The feather takes away the icy cold and gripping pain, instead replacing it with a blissful warmth and a feeling Wilbur almost associates with love. The gift is full of gentle positive magic, given as a gift to a beloved brother, so it gently and lovingly takes away everything wrong that it can, shooing it. 

It can't take away everything. There's still a disgusting feeling of wrongness and a little voice crying for destruction in the back of his from when he first got exiled. Wilbur's own chat still crows for the destruction and demolition of the city they Wilbur founded. Yet, it's quieter than it has been in years. It isn't an overpowering scream as much as it feels like a number of muffled voices standing outside a door something much warmer and more ferocious has banned them from entering. 

The feather takes away as much wrong with Wilbur as it can. The feather for all its power isn't a primary, but a secondary, and lacks the strength to take away everything that's wrong and 'sick' in Wilbur's head, but it cradles everything that's right and helps Wilbur start to put the pieces of himself back into proper order. It gives him some semblance of self control and more lucidity than he's had in weeks, probably months. 

The loving warmth ebbs and with it the clarity turns into a shocking chill like being dunked in a bath of ice water and after being left on a porch in the sun. A strange juxtaposition that leaves Wilbur both disassociated and overly associated. Feeling more himself than he has since he first joined the Dream SMP.

He absolutely hates it. 

The reason he hates it because the first things his mind start to pull from his memory are all the awful things that he's done and Wilbur's first realization among many is the ways in which he's treated the family's youngest. Not just during Pogtopia, though that's probably the most inexcusable timeframe. Not just that, but the amount of pressure he put onto Tommy's shoulders when they founded L'manberg. Dear Prime, he made his little brother into a child soldier when Tommy and Tubbo should have still been kids living in tree houses with bees and flower gardens. 

As Phil gently takes Wilbur into his arms, Wilbur's stomach attempts to empty itself. Since it's already empty all he accomplishes is a dry heave as Phil's arms around his waist feel both too distant and too overwhelmingly present at the same time. He tucks his head on top of Phil's shoulder and feels himself starting to shake as he thinks about the things he did to Tommy (and oh sweet fucking Prime the things he did to Fundy and Niki and Quackity) while living in Pogtopia. 

He thinks about how the tried to always be civil and respect towards Techno while the two bent their heads together and spoke of destroying L'manberg and it's government. Twins in body and thought until the bitter end. Then he thinks about how Tommy had to be subject to the rotational door of emotions Wilbur was constantly going through. The older swinging wildly between yelling and outright hitting the young at time before immediately turning around to baby Tommy and coo at him, running fingers through his hair and reminding him how much he loved Tommy. Which had been true the entire time, even when his mind was so far gone he couldn't even recognize half his own emotions. 

Looking back he understand why he did those things even if the more lucid Wilbur didn't agree with that version of himself.

Just as Techno had cradled Tommy close to his chest the day they brought him home, whispering promises of physical protection, Wilbur too had whispered his own promises. He'd vowed emotional protection, looking upon the tiny foul mouthed firecracker of a child with nothing less than absolute adoration. Wilbur had been bewitched just as quickly as Phil and Techno and he'd sworn on his own happiness that he'd always protect Tommy's.

During their time in Pogtopia, it was a promise he hadn't been able to keep. Yet he didn't want to lose his happiness like he swore he would if he failed his vow. He didn't want to lose Tommy. His terror of Tommy being the traitor, the one thing that probably could have crumbled the last of Wilbur's remaining desire to fight (the one thing that probably could have immediately driven Wilbur so far in despair he wouldn't have had the will to press the button) had driven him to the darkest placed he'd ever gone. He never wanted to lose Tommy

Yet, that's exactly what he was doing right now. As his thoughts finally managed to catch up with the physical world, his daze slowly starting to diminished, he was left unable to do anything but watch as Tommy fell backwards into the crater that Wilbur himself had created. All while Techno stood mutely, his expression horrified and aghast. Techno would no doubt blame himself. Wilbur, seeing where Tommy had fallen, would grievingly call it a group effort, giving Phil some of the blame to carry as well for being so late to the party. 

He didn't feel like this was the real world as he watched his elder twin go into autopilot to kill withers. 

With a glance to his side, Wilbur noted that Phil wasn't in a state much better than himself. His father's expression was fixed in a neutral one, but Wilbur could see the way his eyes misted over. He was just being strong and moving forward for his remaining two sons. When it came to the metaphorical God of hardcore and survival, Wilbur expected no less.

Unfortunately, it bred a lot of false assumptions. Most believed Techno to be the favorite child. Even Tommy believe it to some extent (had died believing it, both Phil and Wilbur's minds supplied), Tommy had said so himself on multiple occasions. In reality, in spite of the way Phil sometimes acted towards Tommy, he was as close to a favorite as Phil could possibly have. Perhaps that's why Phil tended to overcompensate when it came to giving Techno and Wilbur attention when they were children. So they didn't suddenly think themselves replaced when Tommy showed up shivering six years ago, looking as though a strong breeze would kill him but possessing all the scrappiness that had kept Techno and Wilbur alive in the Nether till Phil found them. He didn't have to though. Wilbur and Techno had found Tommy, they had decided to love and care for him, they were prepared for less attention being diverted to them as a younger child entered the household. 

Still, Tommy was (is, his mind tried to desperately argue in spite of the odds) Phil's favorite. Tommy was also Wilbur and Techno's favorite. It was just that none of three knew how to show it. They grew up in the Antarctic and each had to learn how to be royalty before the SMP Earth server went dead. They all grew used to harsh places, learning to show love either too hot or too cold to be understood by others. Tommy though, he'd been the perfect warmth, their sunshine. A little too ferocious for most, but he showed his love perfectly for the Antarctic Trio even if they'd never learned how to return it in a way Tommy could understand. 

There was no death message after Tommy fell and so Wilbur couldn't help gripping desperately to the fragments of hope that remained as Phil tried to get them both to his brother. If they didn't find him, wouldn't there be one soon enough though? He was already starting to work himself into a panic when the Withers died and Phil dragged the younger in the direction of Techno. "Come on dub, let's go check your brother. I think he needs us right about now," Phil, Wilbur's father, Tommy's father, gently cooed as he pulled his dazed middle child towards the oldest. Both of which had contributed towards the death of his youngest. 

Techno was surrounded by people who frankly weren't sure how to respond to the entire situation. This would go down as one of the darkest days on the server by far, but aside from Schlatt there were no permanent deaths. Yet. Even then, with L'manberg in pieces, there wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed with determination and a little bit of joy for their sunshine. If their sunshine was alive. 

People weren't entirely sure what to do with themselves, let alone what to do about the twins who'd caused so much destruction. The twins who'd done damage but damage that was still within repair. The twins who had also been their friends and were now both standing in the mute onset of horror as the entire server came to the realization that Tommy wasn't going to yell "surprise bitch!" as he crawled out of the ravine on a tower of cobblestone. 

They couldn't lose him. Not like this. The trio of his remaining family needed him, but so too did the server who sometimes got burned by the brightness of his rays but by Prime needed it to flourish and grow. Even when he burned too brightly and left deserts in his wake, they needed him. 

Techno curled his head into Phil's shoulder and Wilbur very hesitantly wrapped his arms around the both of them. It was Fundy and Niki who eventually started waving off the crowd, trying to get them all to disperse. "We should talk about this later, but right now, I think all of us should get some rest," Fundy said, acting as the voice of reason. The conversation wasn't over and something needed to be done about the twins, but now was far from the proper time for it. 

In fact, both realized there was probably no question as to whether Techno and Wibur would be exiled. The situation was a fucked one, twisted up like a pretzel. But the way things were looking, it didn't seem like anyone wanted to punish either twin and there wasn't going to be some Butcher Army coming for their heads in the distant future. Not with the wetness that had started to fill Quackity's eyes and the wails of Tubbo who couldn't keep so much grief tucked inside such a tiny body. 

Fundy hesitantly approached and joined what had become a grief induced family hug while Niki watched in silence. Tubbo, despite having been adopted by Phil after the shut down of SMP Earth, didn't join the hug. Instead he allowed Niki to silently wrap her arm around his shoulder. "I have to go look for him," he whispered miserably. 

"I'll help you," she told him in return, carefully avoiding disrupting the other four who'd arguably been left without the emotionally strongest member of their family. "We'll find him. I promise. There was no death message." 

Tubbo nodded back, taking a deep breath and repeating the last sentence back like some kind of mantra. Or perhaps a pray. It seemed like most of the people present were still doing the same. Those who'd dispersed but were carefully peeking down the side of the ravine repeated it like they were all praying to Prime for the survival of the server's youngest. 

There wasn't a person around who wanted to think about the idea of a sixteen year old child being murder over a stupid war that had originally started as a joke. It had been everyone's understanding when they first joined the Dream SMP that they had three lives because of server limitations (it took a lot of power to provide unlimited Respawns like SMP Earth had and it had three admins, Wilbur included) but ultimately it had been started as a server for fun and games and jokes. When Wilbur first set up the drug van and started to fight Dream over starting their new country, it had been a joke. It had been for fun and games when everyone still had all three of their canon lives and Tommy in spite of the war taking place had still been on speaking terms with Dream who he considered another older brother figure. 

Wilbur wasn't sure what happened in the interlude that had left his family with a giant gap in the middle where their sun and all the stars in the sky used to live. Where had their brightest member gone? Even if he lived, would he ever trust Wilbur? Would they be able to recover? Or would Wilbur just be left with nothing more than a doused rock floating in the sky where fire used to lick at the horizon, daring anyone to take it on. If that is what he was destined to end up with, it would be his fault. 

Wilbur couldn't pinpoint the moment when he became so invested in a joke he hadn't realized his brother was on his last life. He himself was on his last life. 

"What do we do if he's gone?" Wilbur was the first to whisper the question as though speaking it too loudly would summon the death message they were all dread. Whispered it because even if he was the only one brave enough to ask it, it still felt like a thousand daggers crawling from his mouth on the way out. 

For the first time in his entire life, as far back as Wilbur could remember, he heard Phil whisper a trio of words that had never left his father's mouth before. "I don't know."

* * *

_Regardless of the pain he was feeling, the consistent cooing and shushing managed to keep his sobs at a controlled level. Quiet enough for their captors to either not notice or care. The other boy had already perfected the art of being silent in his pain, dutifully allowing his feathers to be ripped from his wings without so much as a batted eyelash, but he couldn't control his own sobbing as the wounds started to feel so much. _

_Those battered, half plucked wings carefully wrapped around his body, most of their best feathers long since having gone missing under harsh fingers to be sold off for money they'd never see the profits of. The ones that remained though, they were soft and made him tuck his head further into the lap it was presently resting in as fingers ran through his hair. "I'm scared," he whispered. His own wings, made of webbing instead of feathers, were broken in multiple places. The membrane was ripped and scarred in various placed to the point of promising he'd never see the sky again without a miracle._

_Yet, he'd been blessed. His head was currently tucked against a living miracle who'd promised him that he moment his feathers grew back in he'd pluck one of his own primaries and hide it away so that they could use it on his worthless webbed wings once they were free. They'd fly together the two had promised. He'd admittedly felt bad about it, considering how important he knew primaries were, but his friend had reassured him multiple times that it was perfectly fine. Natural even, considering how close they were and how much they relied on one another. Considering the promises they'd made to one another. _

_He whimpered as he pulled his body in, trying to make himself smaller and even closer to his phoenix companion. The other boy's warmth was the only warmth that could be found in the chill obsidian cells. He was three years older and yet here he was crying into the lap of a five year old who'd seen just as much as him if not worse things in the short span of time they'd shared a cell._

_He might have been captured, taken to 2b2t by hybrid slavers that occasionally popped into other servers for new blood, but his friend had been born in this hell and had seen much more than any child ever should._

_He could still remember the day they realized that his friend was a phoenix. He could still remember the hours of screaming as the wither killed him over and over, his feathers falling like ash for entertainment value. He remember the day he himself had awoken as an ender dragon hybrid. Neither one should or would have survive this long, never could have, not without the other. Even having each other it was hard. _

_While his friend might have survived long enough to escape, the fire in him never dimming despite the onslaught of abuse and attempted 'reconditioning', he most certainly would have died if the plans to separate them had actually worked. Enough fits of deranged violence and his other half discovering a penchant for control over fire magic had convinced their captors it was less of a ruckus and more profitable just to keep the two together. Keep them alive._

_He could hear his name being called from down the hall and knew that it meant he was going to have to fight again. He wasn't going to live this time and he knew at such a young age that would mean a permadeath. He knew it. Too battered, too broken, ender dragon hybrids were never kept alive long enough to reach maturity. To reach the point at which they became alive and dangerous with the ferocity and breath of their parents. This was his execution, he was going to die-_

_"I'm tired. I'm scared," he whimpered, curling in closer to his friend. His dearly beloved friend who was five years old and about to be alone under the robbing hands which stole his feathers and abused him. Yet a small part of him even craved the release of death he was sure his friend had too much pride to ever allow himself to taste. Before he could whimper out another line, his friend suddenly forced the side of his hand into his mouth. He yelped in shock around his friend's hand until enough pressure was put on his jaw to force him to bite down, searing blood coming from the wound he'd unwillingly created._

_He ended up swallowing quite a bit on reflex before he was released from his friend's grip and allowed to recoil in disgust and shock. "What?" Before he could even fish the rest of the question (which probably would have ended in 'the Nether') he felt some of his wounds mending themselves. Energy seeped back into his broken body as a ferocious warmth build up inside his stomach and the back of his throat. "I didn't know phoenix could do that," he muttered as he watched some of the smaller wounds on his hands vanish completely, as though they'd never been there at all. Phoenix feathers he'd heard of. Even phoenix tears were a useful potion component. Phoenix blood, though?_

_"And they don't either, so for both of our sakes we're both going to keep it that way," his friend hissed quietly, holding a finger up to his mouth and flattening his elongated and pointed ears against his skull._

_He brought his wings closer to his body, praising Prime once again for what was seemingly a miracle as he nodded mutely. One of their captors managed to barge into the cell and take him by the arm just as his friend finished hiding the dripping wound, drops of blood still falling to the cold floor with a sizzle. Their captor led him away for another day of fighting and bloodshed, but for once he almost didn't feel like he was going to die. The blood in his veins rushing and a bubbling in the back of his throat making his feel almost like something wanted to come out._

_At the time of being dragged out, he hadn't realized that it was dragon breath he'd accidentally developed early thanks to the power of the phoenix blood he swallowed. At the time neither of them fully realized that this would be the day they escaped. So his friend just shouted after him._

_"Be safe! Come back to me alive, Deo-"_

The boy in question, now a man at nineteen, sat up with a gasp and started to pressing his fingers against the phoenix feather twined into his hair. It remained in its normal place, the second primary he'd ever received from Tommy. The first had been used to restore his wing which despite already being broken and battered had been outright cut off during their escape from the obsidian slavers. They'd both been skeptical of a phoenix's primary being able to restore even lost limbs only to be relieved when Deo's wings came back. It took him a bit of time for them to actually be strong enough to fly, but Tommy's had the same problem after so many feathers were ripped off. 

The one currently in his hair was more a precaution than anything. Deo hadn't actually died in years, but it was a way for both of them to keep an eye on the other. 

Phoenix feathers were a special thing. They could exist after the death of the phoenix who shed them, which is what made them so exceedingly rare outside the partially ruined ones that the living phoenix were willing to get rid of whenever they preened. Most of the feathers that people were able to get ahold of were from enslaved Phoenix. Even shedding feathers as quickly as they did in the Nether (a near constant if Tommy was anything to go off of) it was rare for a phoenix to actually part with a fear besides the ones that were borderline useless. Mostly because what the shed feathers meant for a phoenix.

If a phoenix was to ever draw close to a permadeath, something interesting would happen. All of their existing feathers, whether on their body or not, would turn to ash in one last attempt to keep the phoenix from permadeath. That's why so many phoenix, instead of getting rid of their excess feathers, would instead hoard what they'd shed so they'd have better chances of saving themselves in an emergency. Their magic remained in their shed feathers long after being shed, and most lived in the Nether the majority of their time because it allowed them to produce feathers much faster due to how much fire magic was intrinsically found in the Nether. For a phoenix, hybrid or otherwise, to give a feather was an extreme show of trust, love, and adoration. 

Deo used his to keep a careful eye on time, ensuring he never fell into the hands of people who wanted to use him again and keeping the feather safe incase Tommy needed recuse from a near permadeath (and also so Deo could show up and save him). Tommy used the feather for a similar purpose, a phoenix being able to intrinsically feel the pull of one of their feathers loosing its magic to save a life.

The two were undoubtable bonded in a way that only trauma could realistically provide, and sometimes the feather brought him dreams. Memories or fragments of information that told him how Tommy was doing. Sometimes it even happened to other people Tommy was close to if they were wearing one of his feathers in their sleep, but rarely as often as Deo. Usually Tommy gave him good dreams. Fragments of thoughts about the parts of their childhood that were actually pleasant, or shards of information about the new family Tommy had found as well as clues about where to find Tommy, clues he'd dedicatedly been following ever since they'd been separated. Though, unfortunately, never intentional enough for the younger boy to clearly spell out where he was. 

Dreams like the last one though, or better put nightmares, were usually an indicator of something very wrong. They were the nights that made Deo feel the most anxious about the fact they'd been separated for six years give or take and he still had no clue how to find his friend. He'd finally thought to check SMP Earth only for the server to die and the trail to go cold. 

It didn't help that sometimes he got derailed from his search to aid attempts at setting the hybrid highway back up. 

The hybrid highway had originally been a project set up by some of the much older hybrids he and Tommy had met while living in 2b2t and the duo had agreed to help in exchange for help getting out when the project was done. 

Since hybrids were one of the most victimized populations when it came to trafficking, a number of illegal exit portals back to the main hub world had been created by older hybrids who'd managed to get some kind of foothold in the server. The nearly collective sense of "pack" and "protect children" inherited by the half mobs had pushed its creation. Bedrock two by two pathways had painstakingly been made, leading to to these various portals and that was the hybrid highway. 

In the end the project was raided and destroy because when does anything ever last on 2b2t? Deo had managed to grab Ranboo, someone who'd ended up as part of their group nearly the moment he was kidnapped. He knew that all three of them had managed to get through one of the portal to escape during the fall out. The issue was that Deo and Ranboo had ended up going through a different portal than Tommy had. Ever since, the two had agreed to search for him together but they'd never been able to find their way back to him, to the boy who smiled like sunshine and home. 

If he was being honest, he was just glad that Tommy didn't seem like he was trying to find them. If any one out of the lot of them deserved a home, it was Tommy who'd arguably been through the worst of it. Second being Ranboo who actually had a family to return to even if he couldn't remember their names. 

Ever since they'd been server hopping. What concerned Deo the most though was how long it had been since he'd had a nightmare. Apparently Tommy had found a family, and over time as he grew to love and trust them the nightmares had come to a screeching halt. This was the first one he'd had in a while and he couldn't help wondering why it was suddenly popping up now of all times. (Apparently not even the multiple wars had been enough to distress Tommy to such a point as Techno spawning Withers on him, but Deo didn't know that little detail.)

The ender man hybrid on the other side of the campfire stirred and slowly sat up with a yawn. "Nightmare?" He asked. Ranboo had a feather of his own but instead of bound into his hair it was pinned up against his suit. While Tommy had immediately and without question offered him a primary, Ranboo had opted for a smaller feather. For the time being. 

When they still lived in 2b2t the raiders who ended up snatching Ranboo from his older siblings had hit him hard enough and enough times to cause him short term memory loss. It was an attempt to keep him from teleporting since ender man hybrids either needed a strong understand of a location or exact cord to teleport there, but it ended up not really working out since Ranboo could still remember locations just fine. It was people and events that eluded him unless there were forced into the long term memory before being blotted out, like memories of who Tommy and Deo were and their more important interactions (like Tommy sweeping down from the sky at eight years old in diamond armor with wings ablaze to rescue Ranboo from his captors. That had been the glorious act which left Ranboo forever thinking of Tommy as his best friend and someone who's protection and loyalty he needed to repay.)

Tommy wanted so badly to use one of his primaries to fix Ranboo's memory, and Ranboo didn't particular mind. When they first met, though, Ranboo had refused and said he'd rather wait until they got away from 2b2t since the primaries Tommy shed were too valuable on such a server to be wasted on something like Ranboo's memories. The first primary that Tommy shed after they'd found a new safer server, he'd promised they could use to fix him up and the second he'd pin to his suit (since all of the most important people in Tommy's life were obligated to wear his primaries.) 

It was a shame they'd never gotten the chance. 

Deo just wordlessly nodded in response to Ranboo's question, pressing his face into his hands with a groan for a moment. "Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay. We'll find him. Promise. What server are we looking at joining next?"

"Uh, haven't finalized it yet but I've got an idea. The admin is still looking over my request, though it's been going well so far and he's pretty sure he'll let us in after a couple things settle down. something about an election turning into a riot, but it wasn't really a whole server thing. Besides, if there's one thing Tommy would absolutely get himself involved in without responsible adult supervision, it would be a damn war. Name of the place is Dream SMP I think? Might take a little bit longer to get it sorted though while the admin settles a couple other issue. Sound good?" 

"Sounds fine to me. Dream SMP it is."


	3. Chapter 3

Five feathers. In total, that was the amount of feathers Tommy had lost to mobs, hunger, and a couple other varying factors like blood loss and poison before someone came to rescue him. Unfortunately a wither rose had managed to fall down on top of him and it was a pain working up the energy to actively get it off. His lifetime felt as though it had been measured in those five feathers before he'd felt gentle arms wrap themselves under him in a bridal style and carefully take him away from what would have been a normal person's grave.

Tommy wasn't a normal person by any means, but it didn't make the fear sitting thickly on his tongue any less poignant as time drifted by meaninglessly. 

It had taken all of the strength he had left just to keep his magic active and stop his hybrid features from visually appearing while he was down there. By the time someone had come to reclaim him limp form, Tommy didn't even have the energy to try and open his eyes to see who it was. 

Now, birds weren't particularly well known for their senses of small. It was kind of useless when most scents were washed away by the winds and skies. In fact, most birds had an exceedingly under developed set of olfactory receptors. The phoenix once again showed themselves to be the exception among their avian kin. Where as Phil had close to no sense of smell and very little sense of taste (which allowed him to sympathize with Wilbur in terms of food), Tommy and his ilk had a sense of smell as keen as Techno's. Which made it so that Tommy didn't really need to open his eyes when he could easily catch the scent of baked good with a slight chill coming off of Niki and the comforting scent of flowers coming from Tubbo, two of the most obvious when it came to those who'd join in the search party for Tommy. 

He rather bitterly thought that of course it wouldn't be Phil, or Techno, or Wilbur, but the more logical part of Tommy reasoned that each one had a reason not to. Even if Techno wanted to hunt for Tommy he was probably being treated as a war criminal. While the phoenix feathers weren't as dark of magic as a totem of undying, for those who'd only ever used one or two in their life and weren't natural born phoenix, it could sometimes still be sickening and discombobulating for one to active. Meaning Wilbur was probably struggling to walk in a straight line and would have just been a burden. Phil was probably trying to take care of Wilbur and Techno since Tommy had the sinking feeling no one else would want to be around either. 

The person carrying Tommy couldn't be either of those three, but it would also have to be someone that both Niki and Tubbo trusted to some degree. Taking another sharp breath, Tommy caught the scent of strawberries as well as the scent of aching cold that he typically associated with end creatures like Deo and Ranboo. There were only two people on the server Tommy associated the scent with. The first was Niki, though it was hardly noticeable. She was still end spawn even if it was hard to pick up, probably a lower concentration. Either a couple generations down or she just got the shorter half of the genetic stick, probably the later consider the second person Tommy associated the scent with.

Eret. It was much more noticeable on him, and it was part of the reason Eret wore his glasses so often. Endermen were a special breed of creatures known collectively as the Farlanders. All endermen were Farlanders but not all Farlanders were enderman. Yet since other variations tended to be so rare, a lot of people referred to the entire Farlander collective as endermen. All Farlander hybrids in term were just refered to under the branch of endermen. 

This had been true of Ranboo, it was seemingly also true of Eret. Both being Farlander hybrids but not specifically endermen even if Ranboo heavily presented as one, being a mix of two different Farlander breeds. 

So reasonably the person smelling of strawberries and winter itself should have been Eret. Which was something that baffled Tommy beyond all words. 

He still wasn't entirely sure how to feel about Eret, but there were a couple of well known facts that cemented Tommy's position. While a lot of humans had communities and factions on 2b2t (priding themselves on being loyal to their own factions even if they treated people outside of it with abhorrence), that didn't always apply to the hybrids. The second class citizens of the server, the hybrids only had one faction to call their own. The faction that all hybrids automatically shared. It made betrayals rather common. For every hybrid that stuck to morals for the good of the collective, there was as least one willing to sell and eight year older for person gain. Tommy knew from experience. Tommy understood the sickly taste of betrayal resting in the back of his throat like fire and bile.

Hell, even after escaping 2b2t and making his way to SMP Earth he hadn't been able to escape it. Within the friend group he made, there had been one member who'd betrayed him. Wisp had always been the odd man out among himself, Luke, and Bitzel. Though, eventually, for a number of different reasons Tommy had come to forgive him.

The thing about betrayals is that after enough of them you learned that they had to be weighed with uneven hands. Testing the costs of the betrayal and weighing them against both the actions of the other person (before and after the betrayal took place) and what the other person was able to gain from that betrayal. 

In the case of Wisp, he was the first person to ever join Tommy's new faction when he struck out on his own at fifteen. SMP Earth had given the warning that it was only a matter of time before it shut down so a lot of larger factions splintered off and new people joined as a last hurrah so that everyone could work extra hard to try and achieve the most amazing feats possible. The Antarctic Empire was no exception. Both Wilbur and Tommy found themselves leaving to create their own countries, and even then there were things to consider. 

Business Bay had technically been a colony that belonged to the Antarctic Empire the same way that Newfoundland was, even if the only people who knew about it were the people belonging to the factions themselves. That's why no one really took the wars wages between the three all that seriously if they belonged to the factions themselves, it was only ever playfighting between the family and at worst they were attempts to "toughen Tommy up" (the elder three members of his family never having any clue who Tommy was or what past he'd come from. He'd never spoken a word of his birth server and very few people asked.) 

Even when Techno, Wilbur, and Phil included other people and other countries they'd always gone even on Tommy. Always treated him like a child. The one exception was FitMC who gave Tommy a discreet wink and a smirk. Sure, there were no rules on 2b2t, but outside of the server a lot of players followed a creed of don't ask don't tell if ex or even current players were trying to keep to a down low. They'd only met once or twice, but Fit had enough respect for the scrappy phoenix to never tell his chosen family.

When Tommy thought about Wisps betrayal, sure, it'd been a knife to the back at the time, but it was the Antarctic Empire that Wisp had decided to join. It wasn't someone with a genuine target on Tommy's neck as much as Wisp had gone to a richer member of Tommy's family and essentially asked for a pay raise. While the 2b2t part of Tommy's brain was usually silent and didn't often weigh in on most matters, that had been a hustle that Tommy could at least respect. There was also the fact that at the end of the day when it turned into a fight against Josh for an important reason (Josh saw feathers and dollar signs and immediately became a threat that Tommy needed _power_ over), Wisp had come back to the Business Bay to help them fight. 

It took a bit of time to build that trust back up, but Wisp hadn't left them a second time. He returned what he'd gotten from the Antarctic, stating that Tommy was more important and he'd promised love and loyalty to the younger three, despite the age gap really making him the odd one out and more of a babysitter at times. Techno had at least respected Wisp's desire to protect Techno's own younger brother enough to only tease him in moderation.

Perhaps in an alternate universe maybe it would have been Deo who came to hid aid, Tommy obviously had no doubts that the elder would have easily fit into the role that Wisp had wiggled back into when they needed him. But he didn't and that was that. In this one it had been Wisp to protect Tommy the moment they realized the threat Josh posed to him was serious and real. 

Still, even with all of that considered, the most important factor to Tommy had been the weight of the betrayal. The thing about Wisp, Luke, and Bitzel was that Tommy had trusted all three of them with the secret he hadn't even trusted his family with. The kind of hybrid he was. The decision had been more necessity than anything. Business Bay was significantly smaller than the Antarctic and Tommy had fewer places to squirrel himself away, hiding while he stretched his wings. Magic or not, keeping them hidden for extended periods of time without any preening or stretching was painful. Sharing with them had been necessity. It was necessity in the same way telling Tubbo had become necessity so that the duo could find dark corners in Pogtopia to hide themselves away in, allowing Tubbo to help massage the pain out of Tommy's wings after spending days straight under Wilbur's hawk eyes. Especially when telling Wilbur very readily presented itself as a threat no more than a week into their stay. 

Tommy had half expected to be hunted down like a dog the day that Wisp had betrayed him. At minimum, he'd expected to get an angry communicator call from one of his family members (or more so disappointed in the case of Phil) demanding to know why Tommy had never told them that he was a phoenix. Tommy had waited for days with baited breath, silently daring the second shoe to drop. 

Silence.

In the end, Wisp hadn't spoken a damn word. 

That was how Tommy came to realize the meaning behind one of the phrases a much older kitsune hybrid had repeatedly told to Tommy when he was still a fledgling. The depth of trust that should be offered upon a betrayal taken back should be given in tantamount with the depth of its wounds. The decision to forgive should be rational to the harm the other was wiling to inflict. 

All of which led back to Eret. He was admittedly someone a bit difficult for Tommy to measure. He'd been willing to take Tommy's "first" canon life in exchange for the kingship, but he'd also refused to do further harm to L'manberg and by extension Pogtopia. Which in turn lost him the crown and got him deposed by Dream. He didn't know any of Tommy's crippling secrets, but Niki trusted him and he was pretty certain the two were siblings even if neither had directly stated it. Tommy didn't fully trust Eret, not yet anyways even if he was willing to give out second chance, but he trusted Niki fully. So he let himself relax into Eret's careful grip and limply lean against Eret's chest as the older brought Tommy to an unknown location that smelled of potions and bleach. 

Once again, time became meaningless. It could have been ten minutes, it could have been ten hours, but eventually with the care one uses when handling something precious made from sugar glass, he was placed against something soft. A bed, maybe?

A quiet sobbing that he recognized as Tubbo was the only thing Tommy could really hear over the sound of his own breathing and heart beat. The older boy carefully curled up into the bed alongside Tommy and pressed against him like losing even the slightest amount of physical contact would cause Tommy to disappear. Tommy wanted to mumble out something about Tubbo being clingy, the sound of Tubbo's crying biting into his heart ferociously, but he still didn't even have enough energy to open his eyes. 

A couple more sets of footsteps entered wherever Tommy was and he immediately keyed into both the scent of fox and duck. Fundy and Quackity respectively. It seemed as though everyone had tried to bathe and get rid of the scent, but there was still underlying hints of gunpowder and wither clinging to the air. 

"He's alive, right? Do you think he's going to be okay?" Fundy asked. Tommy could practically imagine the way his ears were pinned to his head and the nervous sway of his tail as it flicked defensively close to the ground. 

"He's most certainly alive considering the lack of death message, and his pulse even seems strong. The issue is so far he's just outright unresponsive. I can't tell if it's the injuries themselves or just fatigue. I tried to take a look at him while Eret was carrying him here, but I couldn't actually find any injuries. Either they're all internal or the poor thing managed to down a health potion at the last minute. In which case him being out cold make sense and I'll need to check for potion poisoning just in case," Niki responded with a heavy sigh. She had no idea how close and yet how far she was. He hadn't used that many feathers consecutively in a while so it made sense he was practically paralyzed by his physical fatigue while his mind continued to try gripping and clinging to reality. 

Tubbo couldn't really explain it either. He knew what Tommy was but he didn't really under the connotations of what being a phoenix actually meant. Tubbo, after their conversation, had mostly assumed that phoenix was a fancy word for part blaze hybrid and part avian hybrid and Tommy just wanted to keep it quiet since Dream had a habit of placing odd limits on hybrids, like clipping the wings of most of the avian hybrids who joined the server. He didn't know that Tommy's feather were like totems of undying, he didn't know how many could be used in how quick of a succession, and he certainly didn't know in what ways being a phoenix affected the number of lives Tommy had. The answers were as many as he pleased, back to back as long as feathers exist in the first place, and similarly he had as many lives as he pleased, even if he elected to indulge a full respawn. 

He tried to force some kind of reassurance out of his mouth, worried about Tubbo who was clinging onto him like Tommy was going to disappear at any moment, but it just came out as a broken groan that made Tubbo grip him tighter and cry harder into his chest. Tommy felt bad, but there wasn't much he could really do in a situation like this. 

"Should we inform the rest of the Craft family? Maybe go and get them?" Quackity asked in perhaps the quietest voice Tommy had ever heard the part shapeshifter and part duck hybrid use. 

Niki sighed heavily, contemplating the question for a moment before shaking her head resolutely. "Tell them that he's currently being cared for to the best of the server's abilities but they can't come and see him. Finalize their exiles and help Phil with getting the two of them settled a good distance away. As far away from both here and each other as you can possibly manage. They need help, but we also have to minimize damage, and I don't trust them around Tommy right now. He can go and visit the two of them any time he wants when he's ready, but not a moment before." Her tone was as protective as it was ferocious, her hands working their way through both Tommy's hair and Tubbo's. 

As people started to leave the room she stayed perched over the two, sighting quietly. "My poor boys," she whispered to them both after Tubbo had fallen asleep, laying a kiss on each one's forehead before she herself left them.

Tommy fell into a restless sleep with Tubbo's head tucked under his chin. 

* * *

The situation truly begged the question of how in a matter of a single week Tommy had somehow managed to end up in a boat being sailed by Dream to an unknown location. Set to live out his life in exile for the foreseeable future, a bitter taste in the back of his mouth as he thought about the expression of anger on Fundy and Quackity's faces or the expression of grief and regret on Niki's.

How he'd ended up here was an understandable question, really, but not one with a particularly easy answer. 

The start of the end had been Tubbo of all people somehow being elected as president with Tommy taking the role of vice. Never a good thing. If Tommy himself was being honest, he would have much preferred if someone better suited to the task like Niki or Puffy had gotten elected, but what was done was done. 

In the days that followed everything had seemed fine, but slowly Tommy grew more and more restless. An anxious energy settling over him like a thick blanket. Something was wrong and he didn't like it. He liked George's house even less. So a little bit of that anger and fear might have seeped into his actions when he saw the structure. The 'King' of the SMP (read as Dream's new puppet and toy) didn't belong there. Tommy wasn't cruel by any meant so it wasn't like he was going to chase the guy out, but he needed to vent some of the energy cracking and burning under his skin before it turned into fire on his finger tips.

It had started with a simple question directed towards Fundy. "You wanna go snoop around his house, maybe play a prank?"

Fundy being a fox, possibly even a kitsune who just wasn't old enough to have a second tail yet, had immediately agree to the idea of harmless mischief. Neither one of them wanted seriously trouble so they'd agreed on something simple and safe like filling his house with "rude" signs (you smell being Tommy's brilliant idea) and maybe replacing the floor with water. That'd be funny, not to mention a classic.

Wet socks were the worst thing in the world which made them one of the best pranks. When Tommy was little, still living in the Antarctic with his family, he used to spill water outside of Wilbur's room. Wilbur would consistently wander out of his room in the morning with nothing but his socks on. In his just woken up daze he would always trot right into the water without noticing and make the most amazing expression of shock as his socks made a disgusting squelching noise and his yell's of Tommy's name echoed through the building. Those were some of Tommy's better memories. They'd seen him through the Wilbur of Pogtopia, which at some point he'd started to consider a separate entity from the brother he'd loved. 

Fundy and Tommy agreed that if either had the intention of possibly robbing George, the other didn't know. Nothing valuable or irreplaceable since Tommy understood that kind of pain, just enough to mess with him. Maybe switching around his chests and leaving he place disorganized.

If he just so happened to magically find one of his discs or something he could use to barter for it, then only he needed to know that. 

The one thing that Tommy had completely forgotten when they finally got to George's house was the fact that Tommy himself was maybe a phoenix. Now, what does a phoenix usually do when it's in a stressful situation? The answer, simply set itself and everything around it _on fire_. 

Tommy would be lying if he said that the fire was intentional. He'd be lying if he said he and Fundy didn't try desperately to put it out. He'd be lying if he said he didn't try to fix what he ruined but just simply didn't have the blocks and resources, being on of the poorest players on the server. He'd be lying if he said a panic attack upon seeing a wither skull placed in one of the chests wasn't the reason his hands had burst into flames and his ears started ringing. He'd be lying if he said that he and Fundy hadn't spent nearly an hour trying to fix that mistake with Tommy explaining the entire time, distraught and nearly in tears, what he was because obviously being a phoenix wasn't a secret he could easily keep after setting himself on fire. 

Fundy was someone that Tommy genuinely loved. They didn't always get along, but they were still relatives. Family, even if they didn't have the same blood in their veins. After they managed to set out the fire and fixed whatever they could, Tommy had sat Fundy down and carefully explained both what he was and what had triggered him into a sudden fight or flight.

If this was going to become something reoccurring then he figured he might as well get everything out of the way. He'd have to tell the people he loved most eventually if he got a panic attack every time he saw one of those stupid skulls. Fundy was a good person to start with, so Fundy became the first person on the server to learn that Tommy was from 2b2t and not for a short amount of time. To learn that Tommy had infinite lives and an endless amount of feathers that could give others the same. Fundy was the first to find out that Tubbo was the only other person on the server to know, not even their shared family, and even then not even Tubbo knew the full extent of what Tommy could do. Fundy was the first person aside from Deo and Ranboo to learn that a phoenix's strength and potential could be measured by the color of their flames. Red turning into blue turning into white and glowing with a heat that almost put lava to shame.

Fundy was the first person ever to see a white flame dancing on the tips of Tommy's fingers and brushing against his palms, something he'd only learned how to do long after losing Deo and Ranboo. The brightest he could get his flames before they were separated was blue, but of course it had been inevitable for his flames to turn white. 

If he was going to be having an episode every time he saw a wither, then it was probably safest for Tommy to find a small group of people he could be honest with. The ones he still trusted. That's what Fundy represented really, the first member of that group. 

He didn't always have this problem with withers. Even after leaving 2b2t he didn't have outright panic attacks when he saw them. Never bad enough to make his powers trigger without him being the one in control. This was something new and a small part of Tommy really didn't want to acknowledge why. Didn't want to link it back to Techno. So instead Tommy just explained to Fundy and they left George's house behind rather nervously. 

If later during an unfair trail Tommy said with a bitter expression that he hadn't whispered George on his communicator a couple minutes after the fire to apologize and offer help, explaining how the harmless prank had accidentally evolved because of a panic attack then that too would be a lie. If George accepted that apology graciously and in turn expression his regrets over not being there for election day then that was between him, Tommy, and Fundy who'd also whispered his own apology to George. All three carried the same level of regret over not being able to stop Schlatt from getting into office.

George whispered Tommy the very next day with an apology and a warning. George held no hard feelings towards Tommy. He hadn't even complained to Dream, just mentioned the incident off hand in passing to Sapnap. The goal of which being George trying to convince Sapnap that Tommy was a good kid and the two should be a little nicer (nicer meaning for Sapnap to stop killing Tommy's cows, they were practically service animals and the child had fucking Trauma. Even Sapnap wasn't despicable enough to pick on a trauma victim and kill his service animals, let alone a sixteen year old trauma victim.)

Ultimately it had been Sapnap who then repeated the same message to Dream, telling him to go easy on the kid for a couple of weeks because he was hurting and fragile. 

Dream had been the one who saw a chance to pounce. Did Tommy blame Sapnap or George? Not particularly, not when they'd actually been trying to do Tommy a favor even after Tommy messed up George's house. He couldn't really stay mad at either of the duo for trying to do what they thought was the right thing. Especially not after Sam told Tommy that the duo was actually pretty chill and made sure to help them keep in touch with Tommy though the entire exile conundrum. Sam made sure to keep repeating over and over again that his secret base was open to Tommy if the exile actually do happen, and that Sapnap and George would both welcome him with open arms (and a new cow named Henrietta, this one a trained service animal much like Fran.)

Did Tommy blame Tubbo after the exile actually happened? No, Tommy wasn't going to blame Tubbo for the same set of reasons he didn't blame Wisp. The circumstance were significantly different, sure, but unless Dream half way into Tommy's exile demanded for Tommy to "pull out your wings" with a pair of shears in his hands, then Tommy wasn't going to blame Tubbo for being as much of a victim as Tommy himself. Heck, if Tommy could forgive Techno actions to a certain degree then he wasn't going to blame any members of the SMP except for one.

Under the pressure of an angry Dream, Tubbo had crumbled and exiled Tommy while Quackity and Fundy screamed in distress over the evolution of those events. There wasn't anyone to blame except for Dream. The original plan that Tubbo and his cabinet had come up with was to get help from Techno and Wilbur who, sure, weren't on the best of terms with L'manberg but they were on okay terms with Tommy. The both of them had whispered Tommy after he got better with vows and promises to make it up to him if he was ever willing to give them a second chance. That second chance was something Tommy intended to let them earn, but it seemed like they were going to get the chance to sooner than he'd originally thought or intended. 

It had started to become a much bigger problem than it'd started as the moment Dream started to remind Tommy of his first set of handlers back on 2b2t. Right down to the mild insanity and seething rage. 

Tommy didn't regret it. Didn't regret pushing Tubbo into a corner where he was forced to exile Tommy. Didn't regret protecting Fundy from getting exiled like himself. Didn't regret accidentally causing Dream to reveal his true self. Tommy thought quietly that he'd give himself three days to be pissy about all of it before he started plotting. Dream, much like Josh, had sighed his death warrant the moment he took things too far and started proving himself a threat, not just to Tommy, but to those he cared about. 

Even if he had to fight alone, it wasn't a battle he'd take lying down.

(Tommy didn't know it, thinking he might be on his own for this one, but minutes after he'd left Fundy had started cursing and screaming up a storm at Tubbo. Tubbo who'd actually gotten upset and called Tommy selfish. Nothing about that court room had been fair. Tommy had known that even if he'd been honest Dream still would have gotten his way. So yeah, Tommy told lie after lie and put up a false bravado. The better he made himself look the harder that Tubbo would have fought to keep him. The betrayal didn't sting Tommy when he'd been the one who intentionally pushed Tubbo into exiling him. He knew that it was better for Tubbo and L'manberg if the spotlight was on his back. Fundy was the one who in a fit of curses and howled dragged Tubbo, Niki, and Quackity somewhere private. He screamed at them how their phoenix, their sun, hadn't meant for this to go the way that it did but had done so to protect them and that Tubbo had the audacity to call their Tommy selfish. Fundy was the one to clear up each and every one of Tommy's lies to the three who listened in silent shock, realizing that Tommy had never outgrown playing the role of the sacrifice when it came to the country he loved. It really was the duel all over again and none of them had been the wiser.)

(George showed up an hour later to find a shaken Tubbo and a furious Fundy. If Tubbo, Quackity, and Niki hadn't believe Fundy's words before than George's confirmation was a death sentence. The apology, the fact Dream had actually gone against George's wishes, and the fact that George had wanted to help Tommy who was obviously struggling with severe ptsd sent Tubbo into a tailspin of despair. His best friend who had ultimately been innocent was gone now. Niki and Fundy were quick to point out that Tommy had purposefully made it easier for Tubbo to exile him, sacrifice him, cutting off bits and pieces of himself for their country. Hiding his pain under a veneer of pride.)

(Sapnap showed up even later, seething when George explained the situation. Agreeing that Dream had finally gone too far and done something so beyond fucked up that they were both a little pissed. That was the push the citizens of L'manberg needed for their grief to turn to outrage. If Tommy burned for them, they weren't letting him burn alone. If Phil was present during the following meeting to explain the situation to the other people of L'manberg, quietly holding up his communicator so that Wilbur and Techno could listen in on call, then that was his and Fundy's business.)

Ultimately, how Tommy had ended up in exile and the events surrounding it really didn't matter as much as the fact Tommy was presently in exile. Sitting behind Dream in a rocking boat as he left familiarity behind. Tommy was the son of Philza, the boy who'd spent the first ten years of his life on 2b2t before being inducted into a family with the lord of survival, the blood god, and the most charismatic bastard Tommy had met in his entire life. If there was anyone who could survive this, it was him. 

Sure, Techno was the one who paraded it around, but "Never Dies" was a family trait. They were the only ones allowed to kill each other. 

This exile was supposed to be the beginning of the end in the mad machinations of Dream's mind, but Tommy wasn't letting it play out how anyone expected it to. Dream really should have paid more attention, he would have seen the smirk.

Dream stopped the boat on a sand bank, motioning for Tommy to get out. He at least helped Tommy set up some form of a basic camp, as though a tent was really going to protect him against the mobs. After the camp was finished though, Dream dug a two block deep hole. "Alright. Weapons, armor, tools, food, everything goes in the hole," Dream said. His voice sounded smug like there wasn't anything he could do about it. Dream had a hand on his axe, like he expected Tommy to backtalk. Wouldn't that just be the perfect excuse for Dream to "punish" him.

Tommy complied.

Without hesitation Tommy threw all of his worldly belongings into the pit and turned back to Dream. Dream's aura changed from smug to bemused before settling on something blank and unreadable. Like Tommy didn't already know his type. Like Tommy hadn't already lived through worse. 

There was a little voice in the back of Tommy's mind that demanded he give Dream a crooked smirk and tell him that if Tommy didn't get to have any fun, then Dream didn't get to have any fun breaking him. The part of Tommy that tended to get him in trouble, the one he'd learned to ignore in the interest of safety back on 2b2t. A louder voice, the one that had made it through 2b2t and gone dormant once he was somewhere safe, one back up and immediately chipped in with the fact that sassing one's owner would be making it fun for him. Like breaking a pony, it's never any fun if you weren't hanging on for dear life while the spirit of the beast slowly withered and died. 

A horse that was already broken, spiritless and compliant, was a hell of a lot less fun. The voice reminded Tommy that he wasn't supposed to be any fun.

"Anything else?"

Dream shook his head, trying to remain pleasant but Tommy could already feel the anger rolling off of him. "I'll be back tomorrow to check up on you though," he said. The saccharine tone of his voice was quite evidently meant to be welcoming. An attempt to be friendly and endear himself to Tommy. All it did was remind Tommy of his second owner who always tried to sweet talk him into compliant whenever he yanked out Tommy's age feathers. He could remember it oh so vividly, a voice cooing and whispering to him how it was for his own good, that it was all his fault, all manner of things to both break him and endear him to his master.

Dream and that man had one thing in common. They knew absolutely nothing about how to actually break a person and make them loyal.

Instead of crushing a person, you cultivate them. Let everyone else hurt them, but never hurt them yourself. Instead, make them revolve around you. Worship and love you because you're the one good thing about the world. It wasn't a skill that Tommy had ever used before. It wasn't even something he'd learned from Wilbur, who had been the person to teach Tommy the most about how to pull other around on delicate string.

Dream knew nothing.

If Tommy didn't have other plans, he might have played along. For the time being though, as long as Tommy was alive and stuck in exile, then Dream had a weapon to use against L'manberg. Tommy wouldn't tolerate that. He didn't have time to play, he had to make Dream understand why picking a fight with someone from 2b2t was a mistake. He had a war he still needed to win, even if the avenue through which it was fought had changed dramatically.

* * *

In a distant boat Dream was calling a number on his communicator. Somewhere far away on a server that Dream needed favors from a person answered their communicator. "I'm sorry, I couldn't find your lost phoenix," he said, forcing the regret he didn't feel into his tone. The only thing he regretted was being wrong. For a while he'd thought that Tommy with his ferocity and his fire might have been 2b2t's lost phoenix. The birth of the phoenix was always rare, something that only happened every 20-50 years at the fastest. But Theseus, the lost phoenix of 2b2t, had ironically been the only one to ever be born on that server in particular. A creature who's been born to survive anything had been born to and escaped the server renown for eating hybrids alive.

Dream had tried asking around to see if Tommy was the mythical creature. Obviously no one would spill easily, but he had plenty of opportunities to try. Yet, at every turn and every attempt, everyone insisted that Tommy was Phil's only human son. Eret insisted such when he traded sides. Wilbur in his insanity begging Dream for tnt had sworn that as far as he was aware he wasn't lying. Even Tubbo, the only person besides Tommy's family he could see knowing, had insisted Tommy was just an average human. Dream had even put on his sweetest and most caring tone, calling Tubbo after the exile to ask if he needed to make any special accommodations if Tommy was a hybrid. Yet Tubbo just laughed at Dream as though it was some kind of joke and told Dream he knew as well as anyone that Tommy was just a human. That's why they were so very scared when Tommy fell. 

Dream couldn't even say that Tubbo sounded like he was lying. He sounded like he was being honest!

He'd only really been suspicious since he'd seen a couple phoenix feathers lying about. One on Techno and one on Wilbur respectively. Though, Phil's family was decently well know and rich enough it would make sense the oldest two (the two with more worth, Tommy never wore feathers) would be given an extra life by their father or maybe they purchased it for themselves. 

It could even be brushed off as a lucky find. Two out of three were Nether hybrids and Tommy himself had an unnerving affinity for the nether that, if not a full hybrid, maybe he was a quarter or an eighth blaze or piglin. Considering the amount of time the trio spent in the Nether (enough for Tommy to be fluent in piglin, blade, and wither skeleton while the twins were both fluent in piglin and conversational at blaze), finding a feather wasn't outside the realm of possibility.

There were others on the server who wore feathers, but they were small and yellow and looked like they were from Quackity. Phoenix feathers were obviously all red (and orange and yellow and gold, sometimes even white or blue, but that was Tommy and Tubbo's secret.) so eventually Dream had to dismiss the possibility. 

"You do realize that means our deal is off," the gruff voice on the other side of the communicator huffed.

"I know, I know. But how about this. Instead of a single phoenix, I sell you an entire server. We've got piglins and avians, and even a fox with high chance odds of becoming a kitsune. You can even take the regular people," Dream said, lounging slightly in his boat. "Creepers, and even a blaze!" The blaze was Sapnap, but Dream could get a new friend. Skeppy and Bad could probably even out the odds and make it worth it. 

The voice on the other end hummed. "I'll bring the boys around for a capture and hunt. We'll take everything you've got. Once we've caught it all we can do an inventory. I don't think it'll measure up anywhere close to a phoenix unless you've got a wither or an ender dragon hiding out on there, but I'm sure I can give you a fair deal."

"Alright. You've got it. I'll lock down the server and help you set up an unregulated entry portal. We can close it off once you're through and you can hunt to your hearts desire. I even known how to set up tracker compasses from my old man hunt days. We can make this fun," he smirked as a laugh barked on the other side of a communicator.

"You're talking like one of us kid! If you've got enough stock I'll let you join our faction and get you sitting pretty with some good loot. Then we can go from there," the slaver said all while Dream was silently preening.

It was neither of their business, but somewhere in the hub world an ender man and ender dragon hybrid were cautiously staring down at the sudden rejection letter they'd received from the Dream SMP admin. Quietly marveling at just how sketchy it looked, and how many people would probably be in trouble. Well, if there was one thing they'd learned from Tommy, it was how to stick your neck where it didn't belong and play hero. This wouldn't be the first and probably wouldn't be the last time Ranboo and Deo abused their hybrid natures to easily set up an illegal portal, wondering if maybe this time they'd hit it lucky. 

Playing hero and finding Tommy would be such a good two for one deal, at least Ranboo thought so. Deo couldn't help wishing his best friends could be normal for once and make this easier on him, damn it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I did the unthinkable and got myself a tumblr. A sin, I know. You can all no officially come interact with me @snapdragonfirefly. I mostly post AU ideas but moving forward I'm thinking about posting over there when I update or publish a new fic. Anyone who wants to go over there and just kinda scream at me can I guess. Might be able to convince me what AUs I should be working. 
> 
> As a side note I hate editing. This took forever to edit. The chapter is still kind of a mess. It's y'alls problem now though <3


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